Military Gear & Army Surplus Gear Blog

This World We Live In (Gay Short Film)

This World We Live In (Gay Short Film)


It’s easy, isn’t it? To lie. We do it day in, day out. Small lies, white lies. Deceiving with intent Fabricating for the better, or lying to yourself – because you can’t face the reality. It’s easy Isn’t it? (celebrated cheers) Victory. It’s what we all want. If I don’t get it, then I don’t cry. Because, boys do not cry. Remember that – I’ve learnt to mask my tears in the water from the showers. The rain from the skies. There’s an expectation in society. Men are the alpha, almost animalistic, prowling in packs. Girls, the prey. The hunted. The prize. If you don’t catch one, then you’re weak. If you don’t catch one, then you draw attention. It’s easy enough to not raise suspicion. For me, it’s this part that’s always the hardest. And then there’s the compulsory story-telling. Remember not to make it too flowery. You’re a lad – not a poet. It sounds scary, but – just tell them what they wanna hear. She was fucking class, mate. Honestly. Up for anything. It’s all a competition. That’s the one thing I’ve learnt. Who’s the biggest? The strongest. The fastest. The fittest. And you can’t let what you crave get to you. Sometimes, It’s just too tempting. Wow. You actually look like your profile. Come in. You’re wearing way too many clothes. Come down when you’re ready. You wanna pair? No. Fine thanks. Let’s take this off, yeah? In a bit, yeah? D’you want some coke? Sure. Here you go. Ah, come on dude. This your first chill? No fucking way. What?! Why didn’t you say something to me? Nah. He can stay. No, come on. You need to go. Look – I’m gonna go. No, no, no, no. Stay. I’ll keep you safe. Come on, enjoy yourself. D’you want some Tina? There’s always a sense of regret. Shame and embarrassment. But when it comes to this – there’s far more concern. You ask yourself the immediate questions: where am I? What happened? What have they done? Who’s even done it? Does anyone know? You can’t get off with the girls cause there’s nothing there. And you can’t get off with the guys because people find out. The drugs help, of course. They numb it. That’s the best way. Look at it like this: You’ll never feel okay, so, Just accept that feeling numb is the best you’re going to get. You’ll often find yourself in this position. The paranoia eating away while you’re trapped in this endless limbo. Image is everything. We can pretend like it’s not, but – we all know it is. It’s a balancing act, though. You need to look good enough to get laid but not too caught up in it to spark speculation. Your worst enemy is your own mind. It follows you, haunts you. And it’s so fucking hard to escape. Once you’ve been caught, face that you’re never getting out. That’s why you get high. So you can’t react. How can you not react to that? You alright, Joey? (moaning) You having a good time? Yeah (laughs) Yeah, I’m having a good time. (moaning) Oh yeah. (moaning) Ah. Ahh. How did Mikey find a guy like you? You’re just so innocent. I wanna break you. You want that? Mikey tells me you’re negative. How ’bout getting pozzed, huh? (phone ringing) Mum? Yeah – yeah, I’m good. Yeah. Yeah. I’m doing really well here. Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, I’m here. Joey? Joey? Mum – Joey – Joey? Joey. Answer me. Joey? Mum – I don’t wanna go again. I think I’ve made a mistake. Aiden! Aiden, it’s him. I think he’s going again. Joey! Joey, can you hear me? Joey, just stay on the line. I don’t wanna go again. I don’t wanna go. It’s easy, isn’t it? To lie. But it comes with its warnings. Everything can spiral so quickly out of control. And that’s the thing. We’re taught to hide. To control. To keep ourselves to ourselves. We never know who it is around us that’s screaming out this silent cry for help. It’s strange. This world we live in.


Reader Comments

  1. Wow! What lovely reaction to our short film! Thank you to all those who have watched, debated, discussed and liked our film. For those wanting more, check out Instalment II of the Odyssey: 'PULSE', a 5-minute-long, one-continuous-take, screen-dance film which can be seen here: goo.gl/aG3iNA

    Love, as always,
    – Oxygen Films x

  2. Muy duro el proceso de aprendizaje y de darte la oportunidad de ser como quieres ser, ser feliz es lo principal amarte

  3. Oh god this hit me so hard. It was really difficult to watch and had me crying at the end. Like on the verge of a panic attack. It was really good tho. I think everyone should watch this.

  4. Wow, thats tragic and what a waste. I am glad I never allowed my self to go through that. Sure, I was scared at first to come out. But once I broke the ice I basically told everyone to F off if you don't like it. But I will never resort to drugs to medicate my feelings. I deal with it head on. And move forward.

  5. Intuition is a strange thing, especially when it is strong and about someone who you may not know well. I had a strong "feeling" that my best mate's brother was in a dark place. I called my mate who lived a three hour drive away and would ask if he had spoken to his brother, or at least gone by the check on him. I called every single night for two weeks. Then my mate called and said that the police had been called to his brother's flat to investigate the sound of a gun discharging. They found the young lad dead from a self inflicted gunshot to the head. Brilliant, handsome, he was so much the same character as the one in this film, and watching it gave me flashbacks. I can't tell you how many times that I wished that I had driven the three hours to check on him myself.

  6. this is a fantastic film! it shows the inner side of us, not necessarily gay or drug adductors, but each of us has our own stories and secrets in mind… and we all need to survive!!

  7. This is SUCH a tragically WONDERFUL short film about the struggles that gay people can face about life. Thank you for revealing them in a beautiful, caring way!

  8. l hope that you Jack Parr did not inject some coke in your Body , just to make this movie , no matter how real it seems , and wanna say how good this movie is , and thanks, God Bless !

  9. This is true. Where I live alone by medical reasons, I must trust many. I wished I had a new companion before I die, but..this drug thing, green is the last and best thing to use, and should be really the only thing… Meth messes up your performance off it and has long term effects, matter fact pain meds, won't work on pain after using meth. Coke screws up your memory, and the headache from it mixed with alcohol will force you into a worse mess.

  10. Noir; this has to be the darkest ever on Youtube. One needn't denigrate himself in order to cope with being gay. Just like anyone else you can find love and be natural and enjoy life, This was evil. Don't be evil.

  11. I grew up in the 1940's and 50's. It was a no no subject. I would look at the current films like Tarzan,later on Seven brides for seven brothers. Never noticed the girls but those brothers ,wow. Checked out the News of the World to read the gutter press about this or that guy. Blackmail was rife, suicides were plentyful.So I'm not sure any gay ever had it better than here and now.But now its family. ?????

  12. I've been hiding for 27yrs I'm just coming out recently… To my dad not mom cause she's all religious and I can't put herself through anything cause it isn't her fault but mine and I can't risk loosing her than to my own happiness… But I still can survive though..

  13. Wow! A job well done at depicting the crash landing many young gay men experience in the metamorphosis of coming out to themselves, a process that fortunately is increasingly less hard in our more progressive societies with the advent of mass social media and its many support organizations offering healthier alternatives and lifestyle choices.

  14. i spent a lot of my childhood and early teens hiding who i was, i confided in someone who i thought was a friend when in fact they turned on me and told everyone. i was abused, beaten up, attacked by people at my school and was bullied walking home, i had a safe space at home but it took me years and years before i told them i was gay and i was being attacked and bullied and abused. i even attempted self harm and suicide but luckily i failed. it was only because i got stabbed in the back, literally stabbed by someone who hated i was gay and my family got told what happened and it all came out. luckily my family was soo understanding and they took me out of school moved half way across the country to give me a fresh start. if it was not for me being able to get a fresh start i don’t know where i would be or if i would be here. life is cruel and people are cruel in it. just find someone who can help and listen and love and support you. i know not everyone has that but know life will get better, it will get better, don’t feel like your alone, there are people out there willing to help you, just reach out xxxxxxxx

  15. Que fuerte!!!!

    Excelente corto.

    Te felicito

    La realidad que se vive plasmada en este corto para muchos chicos.

  16. This short movie give also awareness towards those addicted by sex drugs. Too many people use drugs in big sex party nowadays. It’s a real danger for everyone.

  17. If I knew that a guy exposed someone and they were hurt by it, even to the point of suicide…. I would want to see that scum punished.

  18. This is mind-blowing. The truth; the quality. This is mind-blowing. Even though I will never re-watch this because I cringed so hard at how ugly some people's realities are, I'm so glad it's all out in the open. To those struggling with society's construct, things could EASILY get out of control. Please come out to yourself as soon as possible. Please. Come out about your sexuality, or your emotions, your fears, whatever it is … just come out.

  19. Thankyou, I am crying. This is such a beautifull movie to open my eyes. I am a gay and having alot of innocent thing about the world. I know the world is so cruel often. But I wont losing hope.

    I don't understand whats love is. I am questioning to all gays I met online. Is it only fuck ench other?

    I dont trust to anyone, I feel so lonely, none understand me. But I know, I just wont nobody understand me.

    I quite depressed even with little problem I judge the life so bad. I met nobody from internet, tbh I afraid of gays, maybe I afraid to myself too. I never do something sexual. I have a big fear to commite suicide after does it. I can't control my self when being depressed and having big regret.

    I have a hope to having a good partner who take me care. Or just having kids and love them.

    I dont know. Am I need love or I just lonely.

  20. Impactante, amei! Mas me explica uma coisa, ele sobreviveu aquele ataque de overdose??. Porque depois daquela cena toda, ele volta para o começo… 😢

  21. very powerfull story..gets ya right in the gut….yes gay yes manly and hopefully this message helps the young gays of the world begin a better safer future..as for me well..its all ready too late.

  22. It is always ourselves first than what others will think about us. At the end of the day it is our own life to live not them too sad about our freedom and preferences because we are more likely to judged than embraced. We are also human of the same needs,rights and recognition as every being in this world. Let us not be driven by negativities instead let us conquer our fears and live the choosen life we had because EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD DESERVED TO BE HAPPY!

  23. Second time watching this and it still has me on the edge of my seat. I like to think that the horrific death scene is just his mind doing the math and that it did not really happen. My mind played crazy tricks on me when I was growing in the closet. It is for this reason I help any gay individual and cause. Great short. Thank you.

  24. What is it with gays and DRUGS??? Every single tv series or movie I watch with a gay theme has DRUGS?

  25. I'm in tears 😢😢 the silent cry is the chain on the person going through it. I haven't gone through any kind of pain like this in my life, even now but I see it every day, thank you for and I understand this is the world society has created but I chose to be myself in it💪💪💯💯

  26. Aun a veces despues de tanto tiempo de salir del closet entra la paranoia. Algunas personas aun no aceptan del todo que soy gay y todos esos prejuicios es lo que hace querer dormir los sentimientos con drogas devido tambien a la presion social. Oraciones a todos a los que sufren de esta manera !!!

  27. Lamentablemente hablo español y Vi todo el corto pero me quedé sin entender porque todo el final está sin subtítulos. Gracias x el respeto a la gente de habla hispana, no creen q es una forma de discriminación?

  28. Thank you for posting this unfortunate reality, it sickens me to watch, but it sickens me knowing i too was part of the lie. This video will help our new generation realize they can/need to be whom they are. Again thanks. Douglas, Oregon Coast, USA

  29. Wow, I never thought I’d hear my life spelled out on YT! 😭 and now that I’m older stoicism tells me there’s nothing left and there’s too much pain so it’s not worth it any longer. Time to go.

  30. So sad that there is so much truth in this film. Hence the title I guess, right? So many gay men get pulled into the addiction of Tina (Meth). It such a horrible drug, fucks up sex for guys that fear they can't do it unless they are high, it perpetuates our obsession with looks and many many of us die. I wish this wasn't true but at least this is a real film about a good portion of our current gay world/culture

  31. If it happens in the UK… You can only imagine what happens in Brazil… a country with very religious people! Conservatives are taking over the government… So sad

  32. Powerful. Can relate totally! This could help a lot of people avoid having to go through what he did. I hope so!!

  33. Que fuerte esta este corto, el temor al rechazo de la maldita sociedad muchas veces terminan así, el querer ser aceptado y no juzgado

  34. How on Earth am I this lucky, to not have gone through all of this. I hope every one of you is safe and find hapiness

  35. “Image is everything” says this guy. That sounds like his own personal incorrect conviction that probably is a huge part of all his pain. I say God made us just the way we are. Don’t have you define yourself with labels as gay and stuff – AT ALL, please just remember this. Maybe this dude didn’t like girls cos he couldn’t relax 😱 so busy putting on a show to look cool and strong catching the “prey” he wasn’t more concerned with his heart first. and who cares if he can’t get off at some point, his poor Mum doesn’t him he dead over it?! Any who…

  36. They still JUDGE us…not by the quality of our work or compassion for others. We are still 2nd class citizens in the USA. The discrimmination is just not as overt as it used to be.

  37. I'm 58 years old and have lived through being closeted, the AIDS epidemic, bullying, being attacked, etc. God through his son Jesus Christ saved me and for only one reason, I believed Romans 10:9&10. You can never mix flesh and spirit. They key is what you put on in your thinking. What people think of you or what God thinks of you. God loves me because I believed He sent His son and I have relocated myself to be with those who will not condemn me for my sexuality. It will always be a struggle, but when this world is past, the third heaven and earth will have none of this pain, suffering and sorrow. For now, have hope, God is big enough for all of us.

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