It’s easy, isn’t it? To lie. We do it day in, day out. Small lies, white lies. Deceiving with intent Fabricating for the better, or lying to yourself – because you can’t face the reality. It’s easy Isn’t it? (celebrated cheers) Victory. It’s what we all want. If I don’t get it, then I don’t cry. Because, boys do not cry. Remember that – I’ve learnt to mask my tears in the water from the showers. The rain from the skies. There’s an expectation in society. Men are the alpha, almost animalistic, prowling in packs. Girls, the prey. The hunted. The prize. If you don’t catch one, then you’re weak. If you don’t catch one, then you draw attention. It’s easy enough to not raise suspicion. For me, it’s this part that’s always the hardest. And then there’s the compulsory story-telling. Remember not to make it too flowery. You’re a lad – not a poet. It sounds scary, but – just tell them what they wanna hear. She was fucking class, mate. Honestly. Up for anything. It’s all a competition. That’s the one thing I’ve learnt. Who’s the biggest? The strongest. The fastest. The fittest. And you can’t let what you crave get to you. Sometimes, It’s just too tempting. Wow. You actually look like your profile. Come in. You’re wearing way too many clothes. Come down when you’re ready. You wanna pair? No. Fine thanks. Let’s take this off, yeah? In a bit, yeah? D’you want some coke? Sure. Here you go. Ah, come on dude. This your first chill? No fucking way. What?! Why didn’t you say something to me? Nah. He can stay. No, come on. You need to go. Look – I’m gonna go. No, no, no, no. Stay. I’ll keep you safe. Come on, enjoy yourself. D’you want some Tina? There’s always a sense of regret. Shame and embarrassment. But when it comes to this – there’s far more concern. You ask yourself the immediate questions: where am I? What happened? What have they done? Who’s even done it? Does anyone know? You can’t get off with the girls cause there’s nothing there. And you can’t get off with the guys because people find out. The drugs help, of course. They numb it. That’s the best way. Look at it like this: You’ll never feel okay, so, Just accept that feeling numb is the best you’re going to get. You’ll often find yourself in this position. The paranoia eating away while you’re trapped in this endless limbo. Image is everything. We can pretend like it’s not, but – we all know it is. It’s a balancing act, though. You need to look good enough to get laid but not too caught up in it to spark speculation. Your worst enemy is your own mind. It follows you, haunts you. And it’s so fucking hard to escape. Once you’ve been caught, face that you’re never getting out. That’s why you get high. So you can’t react. How can you not react to that? You alright, Joey? (moaning) You having a good time? Yeah (laughs) Yeah, I’m having a good time. (moaning) Oh yeah. (moaning) Ah. Ahh. How did Mikey find a guy like you? You’re just so innocent. I wanna break you. You want that? Mikey tells me you’re negative. How ’bout getting pozzed, huh? (phone ringing) Mum? Yeah – yeah, I’m good. Yeah. Yeah. I’m doing really well here. Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, I’m here. Joey? Joey? Mum – Joey – Joey? Joey. Answer me. Joey? Mum – I don’t wanna go again. I think I’ve made a mistake. Aiden! Aiden, it’s him. I think he’s going again. Joey! Joey, can you hear me? Joey, just stay on the line. I don’t wanna go again. I don’t wanna go. It’s easy, isn’t it? To lie. But it comes with its warnings. Everything can spiral so quickly out of control. And that’s the thing. We’re taught to hide. To control. To keep ourselves to ourselves. We never know who it is around us that’s screaming out this silent cry for help. It’s strange. This world we live in.