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Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill. Epic Rap Battles of History

Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill. Epic Rap Battles of History

*Rustic piano music starts* Epic Rap Battles Of History! Winston Chrchill! VERSUS! Theodore Rooseveeeeeeltttt! BEGIN! Bully! a challenge! I love competition now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston? Ha! I’m into fitness, diggin’ ditches through an insthmus rough ridin’ down to Cuba like; What’s up, BIIITCHES! I keep my rhymes pure Like my food and drugs, I’m an American stud, and you’re the British Elmer Fudd I mean, for Christ’s sake! Look at that mug! At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up and let’s face it, you’re not all that great, you tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scarps off your plate your whole miserable country is the size of one state I could see my way through running that without donning my pince-nez don’t go toe-to-toe with me, you bloated drunk old man! why don’t ya do-si-do on over to a twelve step program? I’ll bust a trust fund lush, with my American muscels! So walk softly over here, and give my big stick a suckles! Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy, I’m about to take you out prematurely like your family. I’m the Rhyme Minister fresh in a hat and dinner jacket you look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles™ packet! Ha! I was saving the planet from an Axis of darkness, while you were back home, opening national parks, yes! you were born asthmatic you’re going to choke hard while I wake up everyday and chain smoke cigars. I’ll fight you on the beaches, I’ll fight you on the beats, yes anyway you want to fight I’ll fight you and I’ll beat ya see? I might be battling you even though I’m toasted but, tommorow I’ll be sober and you’ll still be roasted! My parents died when they were young and it was morbid, but at least, they did’nt ditch me while they were alive like yours did Oh Shit! World War too soon? well Teddy’s dropin’ bombs so you best go hide in your tube! ohh! you should be ashamed of your military honor! Everyone knows you’re back at home like, thank God for Pearl Harbor Don’t worry! The US will give you a pass, just change your poster to keep calm and kiss my cousin’s ass! Steady there, I don’t think it’s very fair, for a British Bulldog, to melee with a Teddy Bear! Ha! you’re no man, you’re an overgrown Boy Scout! I should stuff you in a pram just so you can throw your toys out. They put your fat head on a mountain, to save face, but if Rushmore was a band, then you’d play bass look at Roosevelt! the dude’s about, to lose the bout to Churchill! If a bullet to the chest won’t stop you, my words will. *gun noises* A bullet can’t stop the Bull Moose! T.R. will give W.C. the full deuce! Whatever shit you throw at me, I’ll just return to sender! I’ll battle to the end, and I will never surrender! WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDEEE EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!! *outro*

Reader Comments

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  2. Gotta say I found Roosevelt's aggressive flow reeeeally awesome, but that last line from Churchill… This is a draw and we're gonna need a 2nd battle.

  3. – Steady there I don't think it's very fair for a British bulldog to melee with a Teddy Bear – Instant win for Churchill

  4. I've have read through so many of these and I can't believe not one that I have seen has said the line the US will give you a pass just change your poster to stay calm and kiss my cousin's ass would be the relationship between the US and Britain

  5. Churchill starved nearly 4 million Indians to death in his forced famines just to get extra reserves of food for his fat pigs of soldiers….i dont see that mentioned here……

  6. Did they mean Franklin Roosevelt? Or did Google inform me wrongly about the name of the president serving during World War II?

  7. This battle remains my favourite. This beat slaps, the flow is good, and the references make this even better

  8. I was mentally cheering for Teddy Roosevelt, but that last line from Winston Churchill had my country's former president beat, unfortunately for Teddy.

  9. This is absolutely the ERB team’s best work. The beat is the most complex and original (I mean, a chugging train for Teddy and a crackling radio broadcast for Churchill? Awesome!) not to mention it has the most savage burns of any rap battle before it. By far my personal favorite just for all of the visible effort that went into creating it!

  10. In my opinion Roosevelt won. Why? Churchill could only insult Roosevelt’s character. Meanwhile Roosevelt is doing the same while building on his own achievements and making good use of memes.

  11. EpicLloyd makes a great Roosevelt I have to say. If someone where to make a movie about TR I’d vouch for EpicLloyd to play him.

  12. 2:17 – 2:18
    George Washington : Nice Peter
    Thomas Jefferson : Nice Peter
    Abraham Lincoln : Nice Peter
    Theodore Roosevelt : EpicLLOYD

  13. Only thing I see wrong with this is that on the map where they show that UK is the size of 1 state, they split the UP and LP of Michigan into 2 different states. 0:45

  14. “Everyone knows you’re back at home like, ‘thank god for Pearl Harbor’”
    Holy FUCK, that one hurt me and I’m American. This whole ERB had nothing but bars. The last lines will go down in ERB history too; they were amazing.

  15. I do think teddy had a much stronger start, while Winston had a better finish, although I would give the win to the country where the entire population can own guns, rather than the country where you can't even buy spoons or forks without a special permit

  16. This is one of the few where there is no clear winner. They both have such good lines. Now I want a glass of brandy. Churchill did, however, have the better closing lines.

  17. This is probably my favourite rap battle. Beat is amazing and lyrics are fire. Both were amazing

    Now do a sequal NOW we all want another sequal

  18. winston churchill was not a great leader.He was comparable to the likes of worst genocidal dictator of 20th century whose hand are sullied by blood of irish people and famine victims of bengal.He just hogs the credit for the victory in world war 2 else he is just like stalin or hitler.

  19. Churchil was the first evil under democratic protection. And then nixon,bil clinton,all bush,obama,trump followed his footstep.

  20. I hate churchill coz he was a racist like ethan from H3H3
    I love roosvelt coz he loved nature

    But churchill wooped his ass in last verse

  21. The “I’ll fight you on the beaches” line is a reference to one of Winston’s most famous speeches the “1940 We Shall Fight on the Beaches”.

  22. I love Churchill’s last lines:
    “Whatever shit you throw at me I’ll just return to sender,
    I’ll battle to the end and I’ll never surrender”

    Edit: Probably my favorite line in this battle.

  23. Jimmy Fallon vs. Trevor Noah.
    honestly i just want to see Trevor Noah in a battle, put him up against any other late night host and I'll be fine

  24. US vs. UK
    We've always got each other's backs, but that doesn't change the fact that the most vicious fights are between siblings.

  25. this is a tough one..both put out some nice dis! Teddy was my fav, but Winston definitely held his own…

    Probably a tie, to me!

  26. I don't like Winston, he steals the fame of a far more incredible Churchill, way crazier than any modern man, so I will give it to Roosevelt.
    Epic, simply epic.

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