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The Time Zack Morris Gave Screech An Unpaid Law Enforcement Job For The Birthday He Forgot

The Time Zack Morris Gave Screech An Unpaid Law Enforcement Job For The Birthday He Forgot

♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪ (bell ringing) – [Narrator] Screech is
unsuccessfully using shaving cream to cry for attention. Zack questions his
manhood in his own house. Kevin, Screech’s robot, reminds Zack yesterday was Screech’s birthday, which Zack forgot. Zack offers half-assed, belated wishes, clearly the result of Kevin’s prompting. Zack calls a meeting
to help him bounce back from forgetting his
best friend’s birthday. They’re making good suggestions, when Zack announces a plan that’s– – genius. – [Narrator] It’s stupid as hell. He wants to throw a surprise party during school in the principal’s office. Zack argues this unhinged trespassing will mean so much to Screech
when it’s all to satiate Zack’s raging ego. But what about the hall monitor? Zack says, fuck that guy. He sends friends, one by one, with a hidden recorder, to
antagonize Neil the Hall Monitor into making angry remarks. Zack watches his entrapment unfold, as Neil, who was minding his business, is pestered into increasingly
annoyed statements caught on tape, culminating with– – What do you really think of me? – You’re a creep. – [Narrator] Wow, do I wish
this show was about Neil. Zack uses his illicit audio to frame Neil for smack talking Mr.
Dewey behind his back. He gleeful destroys Neil’s relationship with his favorite teacher,
without hesitation. Neil gets detention, and
is stripped of his title. Zack nominates Screech to replace him. Zack reminds Screech who got him this unpaid law enforcement job, and demands a lifetime hall pass. Screech obliges, because he’s a nice guy, even though he still
feels rightfully scorned. Screech is chasing people, almost getting beat up. Some birthday gift. To get rid of Belding, Zack has the girls send a distress call with three voices. – I’m a split personality,
and my other two personalities are holding me against
my will at the mall. – I am not. – [Narrator] Now Belding
thinks he has a student with dissociative identity
disorder in urgent need of off campus rescue. Here comes Belding. Great hiding spot, genius. Screech’s job is torturous hell. Before he just felt forgotten. Now he feels invisible, disrespected, and physically abused. Mr. Dewey gives Screech
a sorely needed pep talk, to manage the new responsibility
that’s been thrust on him in the name of Zack’s intrusion
fiesta surprise I’m Sorry. Screech descends into
violent, lustful delusions of science fiction grandeur
as a coping mechanism. How’s Zack’s amazing party? One balloon. Kelly and Lisa are getting snacks. Jessie’s getting plates. Zack doesn’t know what’s
taking them so long doing all of his work. He’s spazzing while not helping. – It’s my party, and
I’ll whine if I want to. – [Narrator] Slater, who isn’t worthless, checks on his friends. Screech says, Jessie’s in detention, and Slater’s heading there, too, because their cavorting
without hall passes is only amplifying his
sense of being scorned. Despite the clock and discretion being crucial factors, Zack needs to hear the password. – Zack Morris is the most
awesome guy in the world. He’s so hot, I just wanna
be with him forever. – Hey, you missed stud muffin. – [Narrator] In the time it took to say those slimy syllables, Screech’s ice cream melted. Lisa and Kelly look for everyone, while Zack sits on his ass. Screech sends them to detention, too, because he is fed up with
being treated like nothing, after all he does for everyone. Screech has half of Bayside locked up. The party is canceled, until Zack calls everyone in, using a less than convincing
fake secretary voice. – I’m new here. – [Narrator] He wants a pat on the back for all his efforts. The gang saw Belding parking. There’s no time to party. Sure there is. A really quick party. Zack littered the office with tacky decorations for children. When Screech tries to say, thanks, Zack hushes him. – The best friends a guy could ever– – Shut up, Screech. – [Narrator] They rush
through festivities. Screech can’t eat his cake, can’t open his gifts, then, it’s over. Awful party, because this was never about Screech. It was all about Zack’s
bottomless appetite for second-rate delinquency, and we never see Neil ever again. He probably fucking killed himself. Let’s review. Zack Morris forgot his
best friend’s birthday. Instead of apologizing, hatched a breaking and
entering party plot, then used illegal hidden
recordings to frame an upstanding student, permanently damaging his
teacher relationship, and gave Screech an unpaid
job in law enforcement as a gift. That was endless misery,
and made him feel worse, just so Zack could give
himself a hall pass, then tricked Belding
into a wild goose chase for a schizophrenic
student that never existed, then did zero while his scheme
got everyone in trouble, all to throw Screech the worst party in the fucking history of parties, because Zack never cared about Screech. He just wanted to pull
another meaningless stunt, and maybe, if he wasn’t doing
this bullshit all the time, he could remember a damn birthday. Zack Morris is trash. ♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪ (bell ringing)

Reader Comments

  1. you hate Zack Morris because you were never slick like him. Women would not fuck you, and you never had friends. That’s why you think Zack Morris is trash. And you only blame Zack when Slater, Jesse, Kelly and Lisa were in on it too. You just hate cis white males don’t you? This channel and series is trash.

  2. Im waiting for the day that the dude that played Zach leaves a comment on here. Thats gonna be epic. Do y'all agree?

  3. Funny or die is the robot and is showing how horrible Zach is to everyone especially his creator. That's my head canon now.

  4. I was pleasantly surprised when you said Disassociative Identity Disorder instead of the layman term "multiple personalities" but disappointed when you later said "schizophrenic".

  5. Next Zach Morris Is Trash🗑 Zach Figures Out Neil Is A Narc and Ruins Neil’s Life Thus Leaving Bayside Run By Drug Dealers

  6. How could you miss commenting on the narcissistic comment "It's my party and I will whine if I want to", I thought the party was for Schreech,

  7. Zack let Neil take the fall for a sexual assault he himself committed…that's why we never see Neil again… 😥

  8. Almost every school I've seen has the principal's office in a hallway right next to the secretary's office. And also for obvious reasons the door had a least a window or the door was kept open whenever a student was there. Bayside is also trash!

  9. Each one is better than the last, and they're all amazing! BTW – I thought the same exact thing about Neil when I watch this show back in the day. 🙂

  10. Hey man idk if you see this or even take suggestions but

    Facts of life "breaking point " a pretty messed up EP dealing with suicide that comes out of nowhere

  11. i mean seriously… no wonder why my generation is so fucked up… we had all of these tools showing us what NOT to do lol

  12. The quadruple spit take at 0:30 is pretty impressive. It's too bad Slater kinda ruined it by being too cool for school.

  13. Then best part about this funny or die series is that mark paul gosselaar (Zack Morris) himself supports it!!!!

    mark paul gosselaar is trrrraasssssshhhh!

  14. finally, someone else that sees this show the way i did back when i watched this for some unknown reason. lack of options i'm guessing.

  15. Wait, did they never fix the ordeal with the other hall monitor? They just ruined that guy's relationship with his teacher and just left it as is?

  16. I was wondering if you're going to do Zack Morris is trash the College years? Zack Morris was very much trash during those College years as well 😂😆✌👍

  17. I was young and don't remember Saved by the Bell as much but man Zach was a douchebag what a ass

  18. I would love if they had a Saved By the Bell revival where it's revealed literally everyone realized how trash Zack was and has been ghosting him for the past twenty or so years and he's purposely trying to butt in on their lives like the trash he is.

  19. Zack: What do you really think of me?

    Neal: You're a creep!

    Thanks, just sprayed what I was drinking all over my desk 😂

  20. I thought Screech's robot at the end was honestly mouthing the words "Zack morris is trash" lol. Neil is kinda cute its too bad we don't see him again.

  21. Neil should be awarded the congregational medal of honor for standing up to Zack Morris or at least for his efforts for seeing through the antics of that punk

  22. Feel free to pause it 4:29 and see the sleazy look on that criminals face along with the look on his victims face – poor screech

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