(Door opening) Caillou, wake the (beep) up! But Dad, I don’t have a sleeping animation. Anyway, I’m going to the store with Mom. We couldn’t get you a babysitter because they all hate you. Don’t screw anything up, or you’re grounded Don’t go to Chuck E. Cheese’s, or visit Dora, or play with fidget spinners because they give you cancer. Dad, cancer is not a funny joke. What joke? You mean fidget spinners actually give you cancer? Holy sh- Uh, I mean- Caillou! How dare you almost swear. Dad, you swear all the time! Shut up. Anyway, we’ll be back soon. (Air guitar noises) Time to play Pokémon Go on the computer! Dag it! Dad deleted it! Well I guess I could just download it again. (beep), Dad set up a password! GRRRRRRR (SMASH) Oh no, I broke it! I should hide it somewhere. Now it’s time to get fat and eat all the popcorn in the box! If one bag is supposed to cook for two minutes, then that means… …five bags have to cook for twenty minutes! I’m so smart. (Door opening, sad violin playing) I’m so grounded… Caillou, what did you do? Rosie? I thought you were with Mom and Dad. You really think they’d leave you home alone? They needed someone more responsible like me to watch you. Well, then you did a bad job. And what the heck! I’m older than you! Then it’s just sad that they’re putting me in charge instead of you. (Dumb crying noises or whatever) I don’t know what to do about this mess. Mom and Dad are gonna kill me. Yep. They are. Oh no! They’re here! I need to go stall them or something! It smells like smoke… Yeah, it does. Hi, guys! Caillou, did you burn something? Um, no- You liar! I’m going to check the kitchen. (Weird noises) No! No! (Sad music) That’s it. You’re going to military school. Really? (Weird noises) No! No! Please, don’t make me go! And why shouldn’t I? All you ever do is mess things up. I think you need to learn how to be more responsible, and that can happen by sending you to military school. Caillou is going to military school? Whatever! (Air guitar noises) Well, my life is over now… (Beep) (Beep) (Beep) (Beep) (Beep) (Glass breaking) (CRASH!) (CRASH!) (Gun loading) (Gunshot) Dag it! I missed and shot the wall! Caillou, stop trying to shoot yourself! Military school isn’t something to shoot yourself over! Now get in the car. (Slap) Why? What? Why would you wear that? Because it’s comfortable! (Slap) I’ve never seen you wear that gay outfit before! How come you never wore it until now? This is the worst day to wear that! This is exactly why you’re going to military school! You make dumb decisions and end up ruining everything for yourself, and everyone else! Sir, are we waiting for the last kid? Yes, cadet. Hey, there he is. (Suspenseful music) (Slap) Why are you dressed like that? Because it’s comfy! (Slap) You’re supposed to be wearing your uniform, Not wearing gay pajamas and bunny slippers! (Laughing) That’s gay! (laughing) You better shut up or I’ll lock you in the dryer! Anyway, do you have your uniform? No. (Dramatic music) GRRRRRRR Maybe YOU should be locked in the dryer instead! (Dumb crying noises or whatever) (Weird noises) No! No! (Slap) Kid, I’m not moving away from this dryer until you’ve learned you lesson! (Screams) Shut up! I wonder if the kid is still in the dryer… Yeah… So why are you here? I dabbed in front of my parents… The f**k? Well, I broke my dad’s pot with his dead cat’s ashes in it. That cat’s name was Mittens. That’s a better reason than dabbing… (Footsteps) That sucked! Well, at least you got your uniform. But this uniform looks dumb and gay! (Clearing throat) What did you just say? Oh no! (Screams) While he’s in the dryer, you two are going to give me fifty push-ups. Right now! But sir, I don’t have a push-up animation. Me neither. Whatever, now drop down and give me fifty! Yes sir… Don’t give me that attitude. Yes sir! No, that’s gay. Try again. Yes sir! What happened here? My stupid bald-headed piece of (Beep) heart attack-giving, Dora dating, beer drinking, gay-acting, fever faking, kitchen burning son put five bags of popcorn in the oven for twenty minutes. WTF? I was just naming a bunch of reasons why he got grounded in season 1. …Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine, and fifty. That was tough! Shut up, you babies! Now wait here while I go get Cadet Caillou from the dryer. Yes sir! (Screams) (Clang!) Just shut up! I’ll get you out when you’ve learned to follow orders! Hey, look at this magazine. It says some people actually liked The Emoji Movie. Officer Eric is coming back. You should sit down. Have you learned your lesson? Yes sir! You called me sir? Well, you’re getting better already! (Slap) But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you for causing yourself trouble twice! Now sit down. (Footsteps) Alright cadets, tomorrow you will start your training. Are we going to train at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Caillou, come over here. (Slap) Why are we in a prison cell? Because Plotagon doesn’t have any military school backgrounds. So we have to sleep here? Yeah… (Sad music) (Dumb crying noises or whatever) I don’t want to be here! None of us do, but we’ll make it out together!