Military Gear & Army Surplus Gear Blog

Quick Cuts: Military Buzzcuts and Psychological Torture Discussion

Quick Cuts: Military Buzzcuts and Psychological Torture Discussion


Hello everybody, welcome back to Hello Chi! we are going to be doing something a little different. I’m attempting to cut David’s hair and I don’t know how it’s gonna go! But! It’s gonna end up with me looking like Michael Stipe thank you very much! Shut up! I do love you. And I’m sorry if it turns out bad but what- what’s the point in even doing anything if you’re not gonna try right? Just don’t make me look like something out of a David Lynch movie. Donuts please. This is my wife’s first attempt. Don’t move please. Oh wait I was supposed brush your hair. I’ve already failed in this. Be our, guest! Be our guest! Brush my hair, brush it, brush it everywhere! You’re giving me a Hitler haircut? Oh, oh ok! Feels like jellyfish fondling my head. Your like a military barber. If that were the case, I would have been buzzing your head right now. Ahh like you are now?! Maybe like trim it with the scissors first? And then when it’s a little less shaggy..Sorry! No! This is why we’re filming this. We’re doing this so we know what not to do next time. If your my barber, then we have to have small talk. No we don’t. That sounds like your getting a lot of hair. Oh yeah. Feels pretty good! Doesn’t hurt. Isn’t there a mullet back there? THERE IS NO MULLET! My hair! Oh it’s getting thin, isn’t it? Yeah! It’s great. Can I feel it? Yeah! Oh! How does that look in the camera? No..you don’t have to.. I’m ready for my close up Mr. Demille…or Deville..Careful, I like that ear… Okay! Tell me if this true for you. Is it awkward af to be having a conversation with a barber at a barbershop? No it happens. Cuz the thing is their cutting your hair, its a very intimate thing. And you don’t know.. I don’t know what face to make when they look me in the eyes while their cutting my hair. Like do I look appreciative? I don’t wanna look like I’m not appreciative because I don’t want her to mess up my haircut. You want me to make it Full Metal Jacket? No! Don’t Private Pyle me! That was a messed up movie. This is my thing with Full Metal Jacket. I think that should of ended with the training camp thing. After they left training camp, that was a much less interesting movie in my opinion. Like the whole ark for me was Private Pyle and how insane he got, just from that Drill Sergeant. That Drill Sergeant, that guy should have won Best Supporting Actor because he improvised everything! Are you serious?! Yes! I think maybe there are a couple lines where he had guidance. But he pretty much (did it himself.) And this is a Stanley Kubrick movie that dude does not do improvisation. His sets and his movies are so tightly controlled. If you deviate a little bit you hear it from him and boy howdy do you ever. But this guy, was given free rein, in a way that I don’t think it ever happened before in a Stanley Kubrick movie. I like how much lighter my head is after a good haircut. You have a favorite Stanley Kubrick movie? I love A Clockwork Orange for many reasons. Yeah.. Um..That was the first films I ever really got to dissect in terms of uhh Film theory and all that. Yeah. A Clockwork Orange though might be my favorite. You’re using medicine and Psychology to mess with free will and freedom. I have ears again! You want a haircut? I can cut your hair. No. I just realized our puppy was sitting there patiently, she’s so cute. Alright, so far I’ve just cut like the back and stuff and I tried to make that as neat as possible. Look at all the hair I’ve gotten rid of, my god! Oh really?! She just made me the tripod, how freaking nice of you. I said freaking to not offend the Lutheran audience. All of one of you. You’re not hearing the sound effects that are scraping across my head. No I can hear just fine, I’m just not listening. Yeah! I married this woman because she’s beautiful look at her! You’ve got to go dig those holes. Broken hands and withered souls emancipated from all you know. You’ve got to go dig those holes. Does anyone know where that song is from? No. Nevermind the half-pound of hair on my grandpa shirt. Yikes! Look at this! Eugh! And we’re done, hooray! Alright, let us know down below what you think of David’s haircut! Did I do a good? Did I? This is where I keep my jellybeans. You’re stupid..


Reader Comments

  1. She's using the clippers backwards.  You run the clippers against the grain (growth) of the hair to cut it–not in the direction it grows.

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