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Hey Steve: Family Questions Her Parenting Choices

Hey Steve: Family Questions Her Parenting Choices


– So Steve, I am a mother to two girls and one boy and my son is the oldest. And so my son.
– How old is he? – He’s 12 so he decided when
he was like six years old he wanted to be a Navy SEAL so I agreed. Well he came about let’s say last year and said Ma, I wanna
go to military school. So that means he was in the sixth grade going to the seventh grade. We signed the papers, we’re
waiting on the acceptance letter but the problem is I
have a few family members that are upset with me
for letting this young man make his own decision at the age of 12. It’s an emotional decision so I think that I just need the support from
some of the family members and they’re not willing to give me that, they’re giving me a lot of backlash. – Okay, okay let me ask you this what’s wrong with your family? He didn’t, see letting
a boy make a decision is when he makes an ignorant decision. Your little boy didn’t come to you and say hey look I wanna drop
out of school and sell drugs. He didn’t come in the house and go, hey I’m gonna drop out of school right now at 12 and be a rapper. This little boy said I wanna
go to a military school. He wants to go to school. The fact that it’s a
military school, come on. I mean really, that’s pretty deep for a 12 year old to think like that. When they really ought to be applauding his maturity level to look at himself, I’m gonna be a Navy SEAL, I wanna be a Boy Scout I
wanna be in a military school. And then you go down there and put the boy in military school. He gon’ be fine. – And Steve now as a
mother and his father, you know, is not active in his life I feel like I cannot
raise him at this point. He’s 12, I’m not a man I don’t
have the things of a man, I don’t even know where to
begin to raise him as a man so I feel like putting him in this entity would be absolutely great. He’ll have the structure, he’ll grow. – Listen, see, your family
trippin’ ’cause they backwoods. Don’t let them dictate
what happens to your son. If your son wants to be special, if your son wants to be a Navy SEAL that could be his calling in life. He may know something they don’t know, what do they want the boy to be? Bet they don’t know. – I guaranteed you they don’t know. – They don’t know what
they want him to be. Let’s keep him here, keep
him here and do what? You can’t grow like that. – I feel like this is my
moment to support him. If I don’t let him go
to this military school, I’ll crush all his dreams. – Why would you crush his dreams for a bunch of people
that ain’t got no dreams. (audience applauding) It’s amazing. Do you know what happens,
they make great people, they make leaders at military school. It doesn’t mean, he may have
a career in the military. But you don’t know what this leads to. (audience applauding) It’s a lot of examples of people
who went to military school have gone on to do some
great stuff with their life. Man let your boy go to school
quit talking to them people. I can’t stand, I can’t stand. I can’t, you know what I can’t stand? I can’t stand a bunch of
old dream killing people. That really bugs me man, if you old and you ain’t got no visions don’t have none but don’t stop a child from having a dog gone vision. ‘Cause you ain’t never wanted, no that’s. (audience cheering) We’ll be right back. (upbeat music)
♪ Good day, it’s a good day ♪


Reader Comments

  1. Was not mentioned whether the 12 year old is already enrolled in ROTC at his school (or somewhere else) AND if he has already attended a military school during the summer months or other break? If he has, and he still loves ROTC (or equivalent) and enjoyed his experience at a summer military school, use that to demonstrate to family members your son is very sure about his wishes to attend a military school.
    Good luck to all.

    https://militaryschooler.com/summer-camp/

  2. Single mother's CAN raise a boy and turn him into an amazing member of society.

    PRESIDENT OBAMA, Tyler Perry, Lebron James, Ricky Williams, Kevin Wayne Durant, Ray Lewis, John Stewart, Eddie Murphy, Sean Combs, Samuel L Jackson, Jason Momoa, Al Pacino, Martin Lawrence, Kevin Hart, Mekhi Phifer, Shaquille O’Neal, Curtis Jackson, Alex Rodriguez, Eddie Griffin, Stevie Wonder, LL Cool J, Ice T
    are a few well known men who were either raised by single mothers AND/ OR extended family members (and even neighbours).

    ***"Black single women are more than scapegoats" (Huffington Post).***

    "For years, single mothers have raised valuable and productive members of society: Tyler Perry, Halle Berry, Samuel L Jackson, and even President Obama. I have seen single black mothers in my life, sacrifice, gain trade certifications, get college degrees, and rise above the stigmatized view of single mothers in society."

    ****"No matter the environment, a child needs to be nurtured, encouraged, guided and shown how to become a productive member of society. And single mothers have done this for decades."***

    **"This does not devalue the place of a positive male role model, but the negative perception often perpetuated in society does disservice to the countless single mothers making do, sacrificing, achieving, and producing promising future leaders."***

    https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_9619536

    https://www.npr.org/2011/05/03/135840068/the-singular-woman-who-raised-barack-obama

  3. 100%….right .. I bet the family members who gave the advice … is seating in 20 yr DEAD END job … with no passion or ambition ……I once read the book …. “ rich dad poor dad ..””” it changed my….life …… do the family giving advice should read these book …..

  4. Right on Steve. Look here Baby you let your son go on down there to that Military School and make something of himself. Who knows he could be a 4 Star General one day. God bless him and you for being a great Mother.

  5. Wow this video is actually really making me think. I believe that you're son is gonna be one fine man so please make his dream come to reality and don't let anyone destroy a 12 year olds mature dream. Because that might crush him and your family are not gonna blame themselves, most likely they are gonna blame you for being a "bad parent" please help him with the path he have chosen. And thank you

  6. Do I hear a bit of like a French/ Haitian twang in some of her words?

    Plus true what Steve said, how a human that young has such depth and is able to have a very clear thought process? What a blessing! She done well, I'd love to meet this boy and have a conversation.

  7. While I think she should encourage the son, I think she should find out exactly what reasons and why the family members may oppose this. She doesn't have to agree and accept what they say but there might just be an inherent reason.
    At the end of the day, Family is Family and will always be there.
    Family is the only one that will and can support you when you need help.

  8. This is why a lot of black families/individuals are trash. Always thinking somebody has to follow the trash path they took to a mediocre lifestyle that they think is a good life.

  9. Amen! Support your son 1000 percent!!! That's your son!! YOUR SON!! If he wants to go to military school hunni, god bless him..as his mother, support your son's dream and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing! KUDOS TO YOU MOMMA!!!

  10. Never went to military school but participated in army cadets since I was 12, it not only teaches you how to be a leader but it helps you out a lot in your adult life, you can put it on college and job applications and it helps promote public speaking, charitable behaviour and much more. Don’t regret it for a second

  11. hey mom dont let your boy be a killer please. wish to this boy to be something more helpful then a soldier and end with him find himself in a war he don't know nothing about.. and of course all my respect for the soldier who just be human

  12. I was talking to my little cousin about going to college when he was 16 and my aunt stopped me and told me "he's not going to college he ain't going nowhere he staying right here with me." Right now he's in prison in Oklahoma

  13. why i lowkey want to just meet her son lol. this lil man is probably the most chilled, yet energetic, matured boy ever lol. At 12 i didnt have control nor was allowed to have control like that. Especially middle school, i went where my mom told me lmao. This will alsp help him with making choices in life as he get older. He been doing it since 12 so making choices wont be a problem for him.

  14. My son said when he was in 6th grade he wanted to be a computer engineer. He's 24 and a computer engineer. Girl, don't listen to your family. Encourage your son.

  15. This woman is so intelligent!!!! Son as well 👍👍👍👍👍….. And that's why I LOVE Steve Harvey…. Great motivational speaker!!!!! Oh, and he's funny too 😉😉😉😉😉

  16. My dad died when I was 12. I never had anyone to support me and my dream as a child.

    Ever since I was 8 years old I wanted to work on and fly in helicopters. People made fun of me because of my dream. They all said I would never make it.

    After I graduated from high school, I joined the US Navy and for 23 years I worked on and flew in helicopters. For 15 of those years, I worked special warfare in direct support of the Navy SEALs. I loved every minute of it. I served in 3 different campaigns and am very proud of my service to my country.

    I to did not listen to the non dreamers! I LIVED MY DREAM! ! !

  17. All the best to you and your family. You are on the right track by wanting the best for your children. My mother raised 4 boys by herself but she surrounded us with men from our church that showed us to become great men.

  18. Gotta disagree with Steve on this…I dont think entrance into the military is a decision a child should be making, specifically a male child of color..i think the unfortunate truth is this 12 yr old boy has an incomplete, biased and non nuanced view of the military and our operations here and abroad, and while I appreciate his desire to stay in school I strongly suspect his "dreams" of being a NAVY seal are based upon euphenisms and false constructs, not an actual understanding of what such a thing entails.
    I say let the boy endure an entire semester of education wherein he is taught all of the dirty little truths of the military, about its past, present, and probably future delvings into the experimentation upon and domination of people whose skin color matches his and see if he retains the same dream afterwards.

  19. Not everyone wants their family in the army, marines etc… Its not their child but really? I definitely don't agree with Steve doing that, disrespecting the family because they don't agree is ridiculous and stupid. 😒

  20. I just wanna say that I much rather this mic lady. She has personality/style. I also agree 100% with the advice he gave this mother.

  21. Good morning everyone, I want to thank each and everyone for your positivity feed back.

    I currently set up a go fund me for my son to attend military school in January. If you all could share and donate. I greatly appreciate the help to make his dream come true. Thank you so much

    I started a fundraising campaign for Jordan to attend Fork Union Military Academy. Please tap to donate- gf.me/u/pn3ats

  22. He's your son. They ain't paying your bills. He sounds like a fine young man to me. You're clearly doing something right!

  23. Actually now is the time for him to get a taste of military life. He can see if the reality will match his dreams. It's better to find out now where at worst he's facing a transfer instead of being locked into a contract as an adult.

  24. much respect to this mom for being a great parent and support to her son; as well as much support to her son for his choices in life God bless and keep them.

  25. I'm so happy Steve supported this mom supporting her son. Her family are not likely bad people. They are just old school and think you should not let your child dictate to you what he/she is gonna do. Well, their is some truth to that but when a child has a vision for themselves, a good parent listens.

  26. To the mom your AMAZING mom. If you need someone that will support you in the decision you make with your children message me I will support you with encouragement on the guidance you give your children.

  27. Wait wait wait, she has ONE son…..my neighbors son was turned down because he's an ONLY son. Is their any truth to this?

  28. Great kid! So happy for him that he made this decision. But I don’t think she should be scared because he is a boy and his dad is not in the picture. I know women who raised sons all by themselves and those men are so great. Mentally and intellectually.

  29. This young man is going to be successful!!!! I applaud the mother for supporting her son!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  30. With that mentally of that boy that he wants to go to military school is great, has steve said, the boy want to be navy seal and even more, who know he might be the president of United States of America one day.

  31. I love this. The lady's son wants to go to a military school on his own accord. It would be a different story if the mother was forcing her son to go to a military school and her son and her relatives are disagreeing with her decision. However, this mother's son WANTS to go to military school. I'm honestly feeling kind of emotional over this boy and his mother because her son wants to do or be something. The boy has a DREAM. 👍🙏😭

  32. I agree with Steve, he is going to be a GOOD MAN when he grows up based off of decisions he is making as a BOY. I applaud him. I agree with the family from this standpoint, too many parents these days are friends first and parents last. But in this instance, he is saying he welcomes structure in his life.

  33. Help me Lord to be able to be such a mother who supports her kids dreams and i will definitely ,surely ,with all my will, stick to dr steve s advice not just in parenting but in my daily life decisions

  34. If I had to do my life over again, my children probably wouldn't even meet my family.

    Matthew 10:36 says "And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.".

    After being betrayed by my family, with my ex and having one of my children harmed because of them, I thank God that my daughter is on her way to med school, on a scholarship at an ivy league university. Sadly, my son is deceased because he was in the military and died in active duty, in the Marines. But, I'm proud of his choices.

    I too was a single mom and thought my family was my help (support system and encouragement), but, that proved to be wrong.

    If you're a single parent (man or woman), and have parents or siblings that's willing to assist you, without preventing you, or your children from making the best decisions possible for your life and offering unconstructive criticism, because of their own failures, limited views or faith… Great! But if not, stop seeking them for guidance and trust God with your household (children and yourself) and He will align you with everyone that needs to be in your life, for the good of those children and yourself.

    Even with family, make sure God (Jesus Christ) is your first course of action when seeking guidance about what's best for you and your children. He's knows far better than anyone what's ahead of us, how much we can endure, what our capabilities are and our final outcome.

    It sounds like she's a great mom and is making wise choices for her children. God has already spoken into the life of that child, for him to want to be a part of such a structured environment.

    God bless her and her family 👪 🙏

  35. "Why would you crush his dreams for a bunch of people that ain't got no dreams"…👐👐👐👐 Preach Uncle Steve

  36. Thank you very much Steve, I'm living with a bunch of ppl just like her family, they always try crushing my dreams, i can't even have confidence in myself anymore, they always insult me, say i don't deserve anything in this life, this is clearly abuse since I've been living with it since im born, I'm only 18 now and all i remember and know is that i am hated in my family, that they don't want me to succeed…etc i just know it, it's obvious.

  37. Most of these so-called family members are actually jealous of what and who you and your kids are, so please just let your son be. You are definitely a wonderful mum. Being a single mum myself I understand you

  38. Just remember this. Donald Trump went to military school at the age of 12 his father Fred sent them there knowing that this boy was going to amount to something someday Yes not only is he a billionaire but he is also the president of the United States in a true leader of the free world. Your son could follow in that exact pattern we don't know where he'll be 50 60 years from now only God knows that he knows the day when we breathe our last breath like it says and Daniel chapter 5

  39. she raised him well !! its rare to see kids say stuff like this. usually like steve said, they wanna drop out of school or just play videos games 24/7.
    the son is going to be an amazing gentleman. i applaud both of them and good luck to her son

  40. Ohh she is far better being a mom of a boy than she thinks. Who supported his dream when he was six years old? She did! Who raised a son for 12 years, kept him off the streets and follow his dream? She did! Now she‘s standing there, being cautious about her decitions but still holds to the wishes of her son and against the pressure of her family. It‘s good to send him there but i have no doubt, she would be completely able to raise a good man. Right there‘s a role model for single moms!

  41. … Read this following comment … The army places often kill people, they are put there by government people who doesn't have the bravery to do it themselves and they often get out into positions were they "have to" kill someone … sure thats is a "good line" of work (If they kill REAL decent and innocent ones) claps claps. Sm f h.
    Saying, good work is sarcasm, obviously.

  42. This following comment is sarcasm …
    … Must be a "good line of work" the army … bcz like … I guess its one of the only kids of work were you can kill someone and often not held liable for it. Lol.

  43. I am on her side. He already know what he wants to do with his life and so she is being the best mother and supporting his decision. I am 34 years old and want to go where my friends are (it's out of the country). I understand family not supporting your decisions. Mine don't support any of mine and I am the good child so I applaud her and Steve is right.

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